I wasn’t. Love and lavender, he thought, perhaps wistfully. "If you arrest him, you must arrest me also. I know I am undeserving of your bounty; but if I were to tell you what hardships I have undergone—to what frightful extremities I have been reduced—and to what infamy I have submitted, to earn a scanty subsistence for this child's sake, —if you could feel what it is to stand alone in the world as I do, bereft of all who have ever loved me, and shunned by all who have ever known me, except the worthless and the wretched,—if you knew (and Heaven grant you may be spared the knowledge!) how much affliction sharpens love, and how much more dear to me my child has become for every sacrifice I have made for him,—if you were told all this, you would, I am sure, pity rather than reproach me, because I cannot at once consent to a separation, which I feel would break my heart. ” “And they won’t let us make plans for ourselves. One always dreamed of this and never believed it. ’ ‘Oh, is he?’ Gerald said grimly. By policemen one mustn’t shock. But that was soon put right, and she walked out into London with a peculiar exaltation of mind, an exaltation that partook of panic and defiance, but was chiefly a sense of vast unexampled release. I do not want to hear from you even the threat of disobedience. . For the first time he seemed to wonder what it might be that she had to confess.
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