. “Everything goes on, confound it! One doesn’t change anything one has set going by making good resolutions. What was their surprise to find it vacant, and the prisoner gone! Jonathan, could scarcely believe his eyes. Here one might live the life of golden days. Dizzily, she grabbed at the mantel for support and, resting her head on her hands, paid no heed to a betraying sound behind her—until an unexpected arm encircled her. Her cheeks were flushed, and her eyes bright. When I have traversed the streets a houseless wanderer, driven with curses from every door where I have solicited alms, and with blows from every gateway where I have sought shelter,—when I have crept into some deserted building, and stretched my wearied limbs upon a bulk, in the vain hope of repose,—or, worse than all, when, frenzied with want, I have yielded to horrible temptation, and earned a meal in the only way I could earn one,—when I have felt, at times like these, my heart sink within me, I have drank of this drink, and have at once forgotten my cares, my poverty, my guilt. “I believe so. Here she walked more slowly, looking constantly at the notices in the shop windows. But this revulsion was engulfed by the succeeding waves of pity and understanding. You must know that. The life of a girl presented itself to her as something happy and heedless and unthinking, yet really guided and controlled by others, and going on amidst unsuspected screens and concealments. She thought of leaving the Beck house less and less these days, though the suitcase remained packed underneath her creaky bed. For the love of Heaven, Jack, don't move!—Don't alter a muscle, if you can help it. I don't know whose brainless head it may be, but it'll do for my collection.
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